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The Chimes After Chelsea: A Six Sentence Story

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whatsystem

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James sat at the table watching Chelsea leave, the chimes over the door punctuating her exit.

James and Chelsea used to like the unique chimes that announced customers’ entry or exit. James liked how Chelsea would stop talking and grin whenever they sounded.

This diner used to be their place; they would plan their Sundays here and sometimes make long-range plans, too.

Now, without Chelsea, the chimes sounded irritating, annoying, and mocking.

James knew Chelsea would never come back; his plan now was to order his usual and plan to make no plans beyond that.

7 responses to “The Chimes After Chelsea: A Six Sentence Story”

  1. Kirk Olsen Avatar
    Kirk Olsen

    I believe periods were called for where you used semicolons. But, then again, grammar isn’t not my strong suit. Maybe I’d give you the first one. So let’s call it a seven sentence story. It’s a sad story. I’ll give you that too.

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    1. whatsystem Avatar
      whatsystem

      Yeah, I would use periods if I weren’t trying to jam the vignette into six sentences. That’s the exercise — and the prompt word — in this instance: “plan.” I even had a seventh sentence explaining the reason why Chelsea ended the relationship, but that didn’t make the cut. Thanks, as always, for the comment, big brother.

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  2. Frank Hubeny Avatar
    Frank Hubeny

    When he gets around to planning again may James make his future plans guided by the Spirit.

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  3. GirlieOnTheEdge Avatar
    GirlieOnTheEdge

    Sometimes that is the best plan – to make none at all. I give James a lot of credit for returning to the diner. Hopefully, there comes a day the chimes are no longer a painful reminder of what isn’t.

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  4. ms pie Avatar
    ms pie

    sounds like a great plan… sometimes that’s just enough…

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. Reelika Pedak Avatar
    Reelika Pedak

    And that’s exactly why I love semicolons…

    The story is a bit sad and I think that it happens in life pretty often after people part their ways, that without this person those things (Chimes in this story) that you smiled about together would annoy you…

    I loved the six.

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  6. messymimi's meanderings Avatar
    messymimi’s meanderings

    It’s hard to plan when your heart is broken.

    Liked by 1 person

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