Category: Childhood
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Stephan’s Cure for Hiccups: A Six-Sentence Story
It was an elementary schoolmate, Stephan, responding to my cries of “I hate the hiccups,” who told me the sure way to cure the hiccups: swallow three full mouths of water upside down. It sounded like a cruel joke: have someone gulp a mouthful of water, bend down as if…
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The Dive
This story was originally posted as a Six-Sentence Story hosted by GirlieOnTheEdge. Not being tall, dark, and handsome, my mating techniques featured humor and self-deprecation. So when my wife reminded me of this story, I told her when we were dating years ago, I wanted to flesh it out a…
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Big head. Balding big head. Overweight with a balding big head. Overweight with a balding and graying big head: My life in a few unflattering pictures
As a toddler, I might as well have worn a hat that said, “C-Section Baby” to remove all doubt from anyone who cast their eyes upon my giant head and thought, “How did mom birth that kid?” On second thought, I would have to wear a T-shirt–they wouldn’t be able…
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Eggs, Bacon, and Evil Clowns
Skip is talking about jury duty and how, in his retirement, he gets summoned more than ever before. “I’m so tired of getting picked for jury duty. The next time a lawyer asks me what do I think of black people I’m going to tell ’em ‘There’re great. I think…
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A History of an Unlikly Wordsmith
I remember when my terminally ill father asked me if I was happy with the career I had chosen. That might have been a good time to lie and make him feel assured that I was doing something I enjoyed–as in the way he enjoyed making boats and my brother…
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Baseball, booze, and sacrifice zones
IFC’s Brockmire IFC‘s new comedy Brockmire is the perfect storm of raw comedy, baseball mythology, rust belt economic depression, chronic substance abuse, corporate malfeasance, desperate sex, and–ultimately–redemption. I can’t get enough of it. And considering there are only eight twenty-two minute shows in this first season, it is very frustrating. Hopefully,…
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Repost: Why I Don’t Build Boats for a Living
I originally posted this back in my “prolific” phase of blogging.I thought I might revisit this piece in honor of my late father. When it was first posted in December of 2006 some mistakenly thought this was a criticism of the acclaimed boat builder. Far from it! While the focus is…
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The Tough Business of Our Mortality and the Legend of Super Stu
Evel Knievel My father spent the night in the hospital the other night. His illness is not uncommon for a man his age. My brother had surgery a day or two before that. Then there’s me with some weird strain of chronic vertigo and skin cancer. It always comes in…
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My Shaklee Daze and the Dangers of Doorbell Ditch
I don’t recall whether I received an allowance from my parents when I was a kid. I do remember working for my father at his shop on certain Saturdays and during the summer. For a short while, when there wasn’t much work at the shop, I found another means of…
BURGER SCOOT 