BURGER SCOOT

On average, every year or so, I read (actually listen to the audiobook version of) Miguel Ruiz’s 1997’s classic The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. I am sure that the fact that it is in audio format has something to do with my returning to the book so often, and Peter Coyote, who reads and recites the book, has a voice that can withstand multiple listens. It also helps that it is only 152 pages. Goodreads.com says I originally finished the book on September 15, 2015, so I guess I’ve read it ten times or so.

I have re-read many of the books of the Old Testament, all of the books of the New Testament several times, the epic poem Gilgamesh (twice), Thomas Babington Macaulay’s Lays of Ancient Rome (twice), and about four years ago, I re-read Pauline Réage’s erotic classic Story of O. Réage’s book is quite the outlier among my other multi-reads! (And no, wise guy, the Lays of Ancient Rome is not a retelling of Caesar’s sexual conquests.) Finally, there are graphic novels like Alan Moore’s V for Vendetta and Frank Miller’s Batman: Year One, and Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, which I think I have read each of them twice.

I have read a few self-help books in my long life, and I don’t think I liked any of them except this one, and most of the books I’ve read on yoga and meditation (and with the latter two subjects, I struggle to finish those titles). The reason I return to The Four Agreements is its simplicity. There are only four things you need to “agree” with and to try to apply to your life. Below are the four with brief descriptions of each and how the agreements challenge me:

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word
“Speak with integrity,” Ruiz writes. “Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.”

Am I always “impeccable with my words? No, but I think I have a good batting average as far as this one goes.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

Do I never take anything personally? Hell no. This is a big stumbling block for me. I’m always looking for criticisms about what I say or do. I’m an old man now, and one would hope I would have risen above this by now. Nope.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as possible to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Do I never make any assumptions? I make an ASS out of U and ME all the time!

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Do I always do my best? Meh, no, but I probably succeed at this one more than the other three.

So does this make The Four Agreements a failure as a self-help book? No, I’m the failure, but I keep trying, that’s the important part, and reviewing this little book helps.